Ich liebe es

Ich liebe es wenn sich Billetkontrolleure im Ton vergreifen...
Er steht vor der Tür zum nächsten Waggon, ich frage, ob das hinter Ihm die 1e Klasse sei, er darauf mit einem süffisanten Blick: "Nein, aber sie brauchen auch dort ein Billet..." Wow wtf, seh ich so assig aus? Gut, Camo-Hosen und Dosenbier sind schon ein bisschen Klischee, aber dennoch, ich fühl mich unverhältnismässig angemacht.

Also zücke ich mein Gleis 7 und frage ihn höflich, ob er sich aufgrund meiner äusseren Erscheinung oder seines unbefriedigenden Jobs wegen zu einem so unhöflichen Umgangston verpflichtet fühlt. Er macht daraufhin mit erstauntem Gesicht Platz und murmelt was, was sich wie "'tschuldigung" anhört...

BAM! In your Face! Dont judge me by my looks, Biatch...
But after all, i dont give a shit!

Never seen a Laptop before?

OMG, that was soooo typically Switzerland...
I installed WC Frozen Throne on my old Laptop during my ride to work... And as usual my battery was very low, so i searched a powerplug to load that thing...
As usually there were no powerplugs in the train, and i had to search quite a while until i found a Socket at the Zurich mainstation. After i sucessfully connected my Laptop to the Power, loads of people kept staring at me, eyes widened in fear...

They probably thougt ill scream Allah Akbar in the very next moment and blast the Trainstation in pieces...

At this point i was kinda pissed off. but the best was yet to come, after 2-3 Minutes, Employee of SBB adressed me: "Sorry, but what are you doin here?"-"Hmm, what does it look like?" i replied. (i was now definitly pissed off) "no matter what you are doing with this cables and stuff, you have to leave" he said. (this was the point where i nearly freaked out)
"I dont know what the FUCK is wrong with you guys here, i need to reload my LAPTOP thats an electronic Device we educated people use to be cool. So whats your fucking Problem? Do you worry about your electricity taxes at the end of the month or what?"

The Guy now backed off a bit and looked puzzled. Everyone in my near surrounding stared ad me.

The guy seemed totally knocked out cold, and then my train arrived, and i unplugged my selfdetonating explosive Laptop of Jihad, and boarded the train leaving a speechless SBB-wanker....

DAMN, i should use my spray a bit more...